Way Too Much Caffine
by artificiallysweet
Summary: Uh, summary? Tony's in love, McGee's an unwilling accomplice & Abby goes a little tropical courtesy of the CafPow corporation. Chapt7 is up and this story is fineto.
1. A Penny For Your Thoughts

**Disclaimer;** Once again, I do not own NCIS or its characters and blah blah blahdy blah. I do however own this storyline, and the right to fantasize about the deliciously sexy Michael Weatherly whenever I damned well please. Yes mind, I'm rebelling against you! _PS: Making a mental note to see a psychotherapist about this!_

**Authors Note;** To anyone reading this. Before we start, I should point out that this was the very first NCIS story I wrote, so be prepared. You have been forewarned about the crappy-ness of this fic. Second of all, is crappy ness even a word? And third, I am completely aware that this story is all over the place and is filled with truck loads of dialogue. Like I said, first fic I wrote, so blame my experience. It switches from Tony's POV, to Abby's POV, to Kate's POV, to Abby's POV, to Abby and McGee's POV, back to Tony's POV, to…Well, you get the idea. Like I said confusing. If you're really stumped, feel free to message me and ask about it. OK, I'm raving now. Oh, one last thing. The title of the story won't really make sense until the latter chapters. And the ending is so outrageous. I was laughing when I wrote it 'cos it seems so Abby. BUT ON WITH THE SHOW!

Things in the NCIS bullpen were slow for a Monday. There were no pressing cases for the team to work on. Abby didn't have anything to analyze, even Ducky didn't have a body to attend to.

McGee was busy playing some sort of virtual game on his PC, Gibbs was in MTAC, presumably arguing with the Director, and Kate was playing around on her Palm Pilot.

Then there was Tony. NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Resident skirt-chaser and a self-proclaimed 'Ladies Man'. Normally when he wasn't working, he was on the phone to, or emailing his latest 'catch'. But not this time, you see, Tony had fallen for someone, and he'd fallen hard. Real hard. He thought he was in love once or twice, but compared to this, they were nothing.

But this, this was real. This woman had Tony completely love-struck. He was totally infatuated with her, and treasured every milli-second he was in her presence. On more than a few occasions, he'd found himself resting back into his chair and visualizing telling this woman how he really felt about her, and that she wasn't just another one to add to his of flings.

The only downside of this dreaming was his fear of actually telling her what he so desperately wanted to. And the occasional slap to the back of the head, courtesy of Gibbs, who insisted that there was never 'nothing to do'. But if Tony ever had the chance to be with this woman, he'd let Gibbs slap him over the head every hour for the rest of his life. It would most definitely be worth it.

Tony had just woken from one of these dreams, and was on his way down to Abby's lab, where he found her playing poker on her laptop.

"Hey Abs, you winning?"

"As always. I'm so bored."

"I know what you mean. So how was your weekend?"

"Great! Kate and I went to some day spa thing on Saturday, and then spent the rest of the weekend in bed watching movies. In between some very interesting conversations."

"Sounds like fun."

"So what'd you do?" Abby asked, resting her head in her hands.

"Slept most of the weekend. Last week was pretty tiring."

"I know, Kate fell asleep during the best bits of Jaws. She musta been

pretty tired, cos the loves that movie."

"Kate likes Jaws? As in the big-ass shark Jaws?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting," Tony replied as he perked up from his slumped state in one of Abby's chairs. "I always had her pegged as the drama type."

"Are you kidding? She hates that stuff with a passion."

"Hmm, very interesting." He mused, trailing off in thought.

"So…. Have any interesting dreams in your sleep filled weekend?"

"Possibly." He replied hesitantly.

Her face lit up. "You had one of those dreams didn't you!"

"I never said that."

"You didn't need to. You know, you never did end up telling me who it was you dream about."

"And for a good reason too. You'd run off and tell her."

"Would not!" She exclaimed, pretending to be hurt. "It doesn't matter, you don't have to tell me….."

"…good."

"….I already know."

"You do what now?"

"I already know who Tony loves…" She sang to herself.

"Oh really?" Came a voice from behind them. Scaring the hell out of Tony, who swung around in his chair in record time.

"Kate, hi." He said, looking up at her.

She smiled back at him. "Hey Abs, did I leave my swimmers at your place?"

"You sure did. But I brought them in with me today, thought you might want them back. Plus, pink's not really my color."

Kate looked over at Tony, he was staring into space, looking at nothing in particular and by the looks of things, his mind was blank. He almost looked brain dead.

"What's up with him? He alright?" Kate whispered into Abby's ear.

"Oh yeah, he's fine. He's just daydreaming, again."

"He's been doing a lot of that lately."

"That's cos Tony's in looove." She mocked.


	2. Denial?

**Chapter 2**

"Really? Who's the poor girl?"

"I don't know, he won't tell me."Abby lied, smiling to herself.

"Oh well, just keep trying, he'll crack eventually. I gotta get back Abs, the paperwork won't do itself."

"Ok."

"Tony, you coming?" Kate said, waving a hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention.

"Huh, you say something?" He asked, snapping out of his trance.

"You coming?"

"Depends on where we're going."

"Back to the bullpen."

"Nah, I'll stay here."

"Ok, suit yourself, but Gibbs will kill you if you haven't got your paperwork done by the time he gets back from MTAC." She said as she walked into the elevator.

"Bye-bye Katie-Pie." He yelled after her. He could tell she rolled her eyes before disappearing behind the cold steel doors.

"Awe, that's so cute." Abby exclaimed.

"What is?"

"You've already got a nickname for her."

"Yeah, and she hates it."

"But that's not why you call her Katie-Pie."

"Ok then smarty pants. Why do I call her that?"

"Cos you love her?"

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Ok, maybe I do."

"AH HA! I KNEW IT!"

"But Abby, you can't tell anybody. I mean it." He pleaded.

"I was right, I was right. Go me. Go me."

"Abby!"

"Yeah yeah, ok."

"So you won't tell anybody?"

"Unless you want me to."

"Especially Gibbs."

"Well, you're fighting a lost cause there."

"You mean he knows?"

"Tony, the man's a human lie detector, he lives to detect this kinda stuff."

"How do you know that he knows?"

"Because he told me he knows."

"Wait a minute. Gibbs told you, that he knows, that I love Kate?"

"Sure did!"

"Great. That's all I need."

"So……"

"So what?"

"So when are you going to tell her?"

Oh, the suspence isn't killing me cos i know how it goes! Suck squirrels! You have to wait to find out. The cruel-ness of me. Is cruel-ness even a word? Well it is now!. But don't worry, i wont make you wait forever to read the newer chapters like some authors i have read works of. Not mentioning any names. Anyways, have i mentioned yet how i love reviews? Oh how i love the reviews. Reviews my this all worthwhile. The gist of this is basically to ask you to review it. So, if you're not too busy, would you mind?


	3. You Set Them Up?

**Chapter 3**

"Hey Katie-Pie?"

"Yes Tony." Kate answered, looking up from her desk.

"I was thinking. I was a real camel's ass last week.."

"And you're only just figuring that out now?"

"...Anyways, I just wanted to say that I was sorry. And to show you how sorry I really am, I want to take you out to dinner tonight."

Kate thought about it for a minute. "Uh, sure. Ok."

"Great! I know this new Italian place….you do like Italian don't you?"

"Yeah. Italians fine Tony."

"Good. So uh, I'll pick you up at around 6.30. Is 6.30 good?"

"6.30's good."

"Ok, great." He replied, smiling on of those 100 watt smiles enthusiastically at her.

Kate smiled back and returned to her paperwork. Damn he was confusing when he wanted to be.

5 meters away, both Tony and Kate could hear the sound of a cell ringing.

"That you Tony?" Kate asked.

"Nope," he replied, "and it's not Gibbs."

Both of them looked across the room before landing eyes on McGee, who was still engrosed in his computer game.

"McGEE!" They both yelled, causing McGee to jump right out of his skin.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Your cell's ringing!"

"Oh, thanks." He said before answering it.

Almost immeadiatly, he was out of his seat, and into the elevator.

Back down in the lab, a ver impatient Abby was waiting for Tim. "C'mon McGee, where are you. When i say 'pronto', it means right now?"

As if on cue, the elevator doors dinged, and Tim emerged. "Abby, you ok? You said it was an emergency."

"Did Tony ask Kate out yet?"

"Tony's asking Kate out?"

"Yes, Tony's asking Kate out, so did he?"

"I dunno, if he did I couldn't hear. I was playing Medal Of Honor, and had my headset on."

"McGee!" She pouted.

"Sorry."

"I know how you can make it up to me!" Abby said, rubbing her ands in glee, with a rather devious look on her face.

"How?" He was sceptical. This could be dangerous.

"When you go back, tell Kate I want to see her."

"That's it?"

Abby nooded her response. "Yeah, why?"

"I thought you might want to use me for some sort of ancient voodoo or sacrifice."

"Me? Sacrifice you? Never! You're too valuable to me, for the time being anyways. Without you, I'd have no-one to help me hack into stuff."

"Oh ok, thanks." He replied as he turned to leave. "Oh, one more thing. Why's Tony asking Kate out?"

"Cos he loves her! Oops, I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"Tony loves Kate hey? I always thought there was something between those two."

"Well, if you want to be technical, there isn't. But there will be if I have anything to do with it."

"So you're setting them up?"

"Think of it more like giving them a push in the right direction, so they don't have to go through that whole 'should I, shouldn't I, what if she says no' crap."

"I see. I'll send Kate down."

"Thank-you Timmy! And Oh, you didn't hear that Tony loves Kate from me, Ok? God I love saying that. Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate, Tony loves Kate,..."

"Abby. Slow down on the Caf-Pow."


	4. An Inside Source?

"Kate! There you are. I've been waiting for you." Abby shouted across the room upon seeing her friend.

"What'd you want Abby?"

"I just wanted to know if you were doing anything tonight. Cause I thought maybe you could come over, and finish watching Jaws, last time you conveniently fell asleep watching it."

"Oh Abby, as much as I'd love to, I've kinda got a date tonight?"

"A date? With who?" Abby asked, playing dumb.

"Tony, actually."

"Tony? As in our Tony?"

"Yes, our Tony. And don't play stupid. I know you had something to do with it."

"I did not!" She pleaded innocently. "So where's he taking you?"

"That new Italian place I think. He said 'new' and 'Italian', so I kinda figured."

"Ah, you wanted to go there too."

"Mmm, I wonder how he knew? Maybe an inside source helped him?" She said, raising an eyebrow. This just screamed 'Abby did it'. Or helped in some way at the bare minimum.

"Or maybe he planted a wire on you."

"Doubt it. Anyway Abs, I still got that paperwork to do so.."

"Yeah ok. Call me tonight after you get home. That is IF you get home." She retorted playfully over he shoulder.

Kate just looked at the other woman as If she were mental.

"What?" Abby asked, noting Kate staring at her.

"You, you're relentless. You know damned well I'm not going to sleep with Tony. That infamous 'DiNozzo Charm' won't work on me!"

"Yeah, you say that now."

"Abby!"

"Fine, subject dropped. Don't you have paperwork to get back to before Gibbs gets back from MTAC?"

"Yeah, well I think they may have kidnapped him, or taken him hostage for something. He's been gone for almost and hour and a half."

"Yeah well, don't get your hopes up!"

before Kate could reply, out came the devil himself.

"Gibbs! Kate and I were just talking about you."

"Really?" He murmured.

"Kate was just telling me how she thought MTAC had taken you hostage for ransom or something."

"I wish."

"Why what's happened?" Kate asked, suddenly serious.

"Director Morrow's being an outright dickhead, once again."

"Ok, well I got paperwork to do. Bye Abs."

"C-ya Kate. And don't forget to call me!"


	5. If Only You Knew

"Guess what Gibbs? Tony asked Kate out for dinner tonight."

Gibbs groaned. "Why is it only Rule #12 that always keeps getting broken? The others are perfectly structured. Where'd I go wrong Abs?"

"Don't worry Boss-Man. You still got me!"

"Gee, I feel a lot better now." He replied sarcastically.

"Hey! With an attitude like that, no wonder all your rules keep getting broked. If you keep going on like this I may just have to run away with the Duck-Man!"

"Abby, somehow, I don't see that happening."

"Me neither," She sighed. "But a girl can always dream."

"Hmm, ok. Good luck with that." He smiled, patting her shoulder. Before heading off back to the bullpen.

"Hey Gibbs." Abby shouted after him. "Can you send McGee down?"

"Can I ask why?"

"I promised to show him my new tattoo." Judging by the look on Gibbs's face, she thought she should elaborate. "It's on my shoulder blade Gibbs. But McGee doesn't know that!

"McGee!" Gibbs shouted as he walked into the bullpen, coffee in hand. "Abby want to see you down in her lab. She said something about a new tat."

And in the blink of an eye, timothy was gone. Again.

"Abby has another tat?" Tony asked Kate.

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Shoulder blade."

"Ah, let me guess. Probie thinks it's somewhere else?"

"Yeah, that kid's not going to see anything until she promises to show him her piercings."

"She's got piercings?" He asked, his eyes widened.

"Oh come on. You honestly thought she wouldn't have any?"

"Well, the thought did cross my mind. Where are the piercings exactly?"

"They're ah…." Kate replied, stumbling over her words.

"Oh my God. There?"

Kate nodded back. "Yeah, there."

"Wait a minute, how do you know she's pierced 'there'?"

"She told me."

"Are you sure?"

"Tony, get your head out of the gutter."

"Awe, c'mon Kate, you know there's nothing wrong with a healthy sexual curiosity."

"Yeah, well, you certainly proved that fact when you shoved your tongue down that transsexual's throat!"

"Katie, that wasn't very nice."

"You provoked me."

"Ok, so you're saying you'll do whatever I provoke you to?"

"Oh, you wish DiNozzo!"

"If only you knew." He muttered under his breath so only he could hear.


	6. Now There's An Idea!

Then, it hit her. Kate frantically rushed down to Abby's lab, repeating the words 'Oh My God' over and over and over and over in her head. The elevator doors opened and she found a very cheerful Abby, and a not to cheerful McGee.

"Tim, can you give me and Abby a minute or 5? Alone?"

"Uh, yeah, sure Kate. Bye Abs."

"Hey Kate, that wasn't fair! I was just about to tell McGee about my piercings!"

"It's me isn't it?" Kate asked as if she were expecting a heart attack.

"What are you talking about woman?"

"Tony. This morning when I came down, you were saying something about Tony being in love. Just then I was thinking, why would Tony want to take me out to dinner when he's already in love with someone else? Then the absurd thought crossed my mind that the one he loves could actually be me. And it all makes sense. The staring, the nickname, the stuttering and stumbling when he talks to me, and he's been spending an awful lot of time around me lately."

Kate took in a huge breath and sighed. She then looked up at Abby, and saw her friend giving her little golf claps, with a huge smile plastered over her face.

"Well done Kate! You finally got it. I expected you to catch on a little earlier though. And you call yourself an NCIS special agent!"

"Not funny Abs, what am I gonna do?"

"Well, first of all, you're gonna stop stating the obvious. Second of all, you're gonna go back upstairs and finish your paperwork so Gibbs won't make you stay behind and tonight, you and Tony are going to go have the night of your lives, and not come in tomorrow."

"Why am I not coming in tomorrow?"

"Because you and Tony will be busy doing, uh, other things."

"Abby!"

"Awe, Kate you know you want to. As much as you deny it, you want to sleep with Anthony DiNozzo."

"Yeah? Well, I could say the same for you and McGee."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because I wouldn't deny it."

"I'm going to tell him you said that!"

"Go ahead! Saves me the trouble."

"You are truly unique Abby."

"Thank you Kate! Hey, tell me what you think of Tony's new nickname for you."

"Which one?"

"Katie-Pie. It's adorable, I think."

"Well, it's a hell of a lot better than Rosefern."

"True. So…."

"Well, I guess it is kinda cute. But I still don't know Abby,"

"About what?"

"Whether this is a good idea or not?"

"Why not?"

"Because. It jeopardizes everything."

"Career-wise, yes. But Kate, this could be the best time of your life. You don't know, Tony could even be 'the one' for you."

"He's hardly 'the one' material Abs."

"Fine then, tell me something. When Gibbs sent you two undercover, and you had to share a hotel room. What was he like?"

"Sardonic, chauvinistic…"

"Apart from the usual."

"I dunno, we talked a lot about why we got into this line of work, plans for the future and stuff like that. I never thought Tony had a nice side, you know. One I could relate to. And, I found out that we both wanna name our son Drew."

"See, Kate, you're already planning your kids." Abby said as she put her arm around Kate's neck and hugged her. "And I think I know what this means."

"Enlighten me, please."

"I think you're in love with Tony."

Kate sighed. "Maybe I am."

"I think you are."

"Would you stop that? You're making me nervous."

Abby smiled as she listened to Kate explaining every single reason why she couldn't possibly be in love with Tony. But she knew it was just the denial phase. After tonight, it would pass. She was sure of it.

"Kate! Would you just stop worrying, and just have fun tonight."

"You know what, you're right! It's just a date. I'm being silly."

"Exactly, it's just a date."

"Exactly, a date, with Tony, tonight."

"Kate! You're doing it again."

"Right, sorry."

"Now get outta here before Gibbs makes you work overtime."

Gee, I hope Kate doesn't suffer from panic attacks. It'd be quite a show if she does. Kate Todd, damsel in distress, and Anthony DiNozzo, knight in Shining Armor! That's something I'd pay to see. Hey! Now there's an idea!


	7. It's Not 'HookingUp', It's Love

"Can you see them? McGee, I can't see them. Where are they?" Abby asked as she squirmed in the passenger seat, trying desperately to get a look inside.

"Use these. All the way to the right." McGee replied, handing her a set of binoculars.

"That's better, I can see them now."

"What's happening?"

"Kate's eating, Tony's talking, they're laughing, Tony just dropped his fork, and he's asking the waiter for another one I think…"

"Ok, Abby, we get the point. I still don't think we should be doing this."

"Why not McGee? Eating Chinese and stalking your friends in the comfort of a car IS fun."

"Because it feels like invasion of privacy."

"Awe, Tim, that's so thoughtful. We're still gonna sit here and watch. You know they won't tell us anything."

"Well, I don't know about that, Tony usually brags about his dates every morning. It's kind of like a morning ritual for him."

"Yeah, but this is Kate, Timmy."

Almost an hour later Abby and Tim were still sitting in the car spying on their friends. This was really starting to bug Abby. Mostly because she was on yet another caffeine trip, no thanks to the Caf-Pow corporation. And she was confined to the small space of a car, with no where to go and unleash some of that built up hyperactivity.

"McGee! Wake up." She said, maybe a little to excited to see the pair stand up to leave. "They're leaving, finally."

"Thank God. I can't wait to get home." He replied, turning on the ignition.

"Uh-ah Timmy. No Dice! We're following them."

"Abby, c'mon."

"Timmy, I said 'no dice'. Now follow that car!" She got off her feet and put on her seatbelt. "Mush!"

the pair pulled out of the parking lot and followed Tony and Kate to wherever they were going.

20 minutes had passed since leaving the restaurant parking lot, and somehow they'd managed to 'stalk' their way back to Kate's place. Who knew she lived so far away from the CBD? Either that or the pair knew they were being followed. McGee opted for the latter. He knew they weren't stupid, and had probably figured out Abby would want to spy on them before they left the office. It was typical Abby, but her intentions were good-hearted, no matter how 'hinky' or kooky they may seem.

At Abby's demand, McGee pulled over at least half a street away from where Tony had pulled up. With all the demands, he concluded Abby had been spending way too much time around Gibbs. His leadership skills were definitely rubbing off on her. Not that that was a bad thing. Most of the time.

He shut off the ignition and handed her over the binoculars and a Caf-Pow that had mysteriously appeared in the cup holder. McGee swore she was definitely putting someone's kids through college.

The pair sat there for a few minutes, just looking at the parked car, only a few yards away.

"Abby..."

"Shh, McGee, Tony's getting out of the car. Awe, he even opened up Kate's door for her! That's so cute."

McGee smiled to himself.

"What are you smiling at?" She asked?

"It's just, you're obsessed with this. Why the fascination with Kate and Tony hooking up anyway?"

Abby looked stunned. "McGee! It's not hooking up. It's falling in love. And it's about time they did something about the tension between them. Even Gibbs was starting to complain about it."

"Abs, there's always going to be tension between these two, whether they're together or not."

"True Timmy, true. But this there'll be much less this way."

He sighed and thought about it. It would be nice to have a conversation with the two without one having to say something sarcastic. it was kind of un-nerving to think about.

Abby almost chocked on a mouthful of Caf-Pow as she brought the binoculars back up to her eyes. "Timmy quick! Turn on the ignition."

"Why?"

"They're kissing!"

"But why am i…"

"Just do it!" She almost shouted at him as she climbed into the backseat.

McGee did as he was told. "Abby what are you doing?"

"You'll see." She smiled and opened the sunroof. "Now hit the headlights when I say so."

She handed him her Caf-Pow and climbed half out the sunroof. "Now Timmy!"

And McGee hit the lights, which shined straight in the direction of his co-workers, involved in a tight embrace.

Upon seeing this, Abby started wolf-whistling and beeping the horn with her boot.

"Way to go Kate!"

Tim panicked. This was the last thing he expected, or wanted her to do. He slowly put the car into drive and continued his way up the street, begging Abby to get back in the car. She planned on doing no such thing. He came to a stop outside Kate's house.

"PROBIE! You are going to be SO dead in the moring." Tony yelled as he made his way towards the car.

"Sorry Tony, I'd love to stay, but I have to go put Abby in bed. She's had too much caffeine today." He stuttered and pulled away from the curb, leaving Abby to yell one more thing from her perched state on the roof as she saw Tony kiss Kate again.

"GET A ROOM!"


End file.
